Well, it’s been a bit of a strange year or two, hasn’t it? Life has come in waves – busy, calm, frantic, still. Ever-changing and adapting, and never quite knowing what’s coming next. And you know what? I’m tired. I’m sure I’m not the only one.
Keeping afloat through the pandemic – working, parenting, moving house, dealing with lockdowns and liftings, adapting and changing – that puts us into survival mode. Now that things feel a little more normal, there is an assumption that we will all jump back and be able to switch to ‘previous life’ mode without any consequence. The reality is very different.
Collectively, we have been through trauma. It has affected everyone differently, and some more than others, but jumping back into our old ways is neither productive nor healthy.
Close your eyes a moment. Humour me. Think of the positives from the last year – I know there are some there. Did you find more time to do something that was just for ‘fun’? Were you able to connect more deeply with friends because you made more effort, carved out time, for deep conversations? Did you realise you hated your job and looked for new pathways?
While some realisations may be hard on us, they are also serving us on the deepest level.
I went back into teaching just before the pandemic. I was unsure, but hopeful. I wanted to provide for my family and work with young people again. I wanted to make a difference.
The pandemic helped me realise that this path no longer serves me. That I have grown beyond the traditional. That that deep aching for MORE – more depth, more compassion, more humanity – just can’t be found in these settings.
I realised that while I LOVE yoga, working face-to-face is what brings me joy, working online is draining. I NEED the connection to craft sessions that sing, and our asana practice just wasn’t the same when I’m trying to hurry small human out of the house to create a false sense of calm in the chaos.
Since then, I’ve been through 4 jobs. I’ve done what I had to keep my family afloat. And now it is time to stop.
I have a new and amazing job that brings me job.
I have a crazy nearly 3yr old (how did that happen so fast?!) who needs my attention.
I have a need to share once more, but I need time to plan and create. I want to sit with these ideas bubbling inside, nourish them and see what they have in mind. (I’m thinking a true meeting of souls; yoga, meditation, nourishing food, naughty food (because it’s all about balance right?!), fire pits, ritual, singing, dancing and above all – connection.)
In the meantime, I have some nidra’s bubbling to escape and hope to record those for you soon.
Drop me a message and let me know where your journey’s taking you.