But I’m not spiritual enough

But I’m not spiritual enough

The last few months have been a new journey for me. Last year there were a few key moments that made me stop and think, to look at how and where I was spending my energy, and to reassess my priorities. With friends, family, work, business… energy is such a vital commodity that we must be mindful of how we are using it. And I was giving mine away. Every. Last. Drop.

So I’m trying to bring more awareness, and more authenticity, to what I do. To who I am. I’ve stopped teaching classes which no longer serve me. I’ve jumped in and launched classes (with hand in mouth petrified they wouldn’t be accepted) which light my soul (they were, you’re all amazing). And in doing so, I have met some absolutely beautiful humans along the way.

I love making new connections with like-minded people. But. And there is always a but. (Monkey mind always has a way of chipping in doesn’t it?!).

BUT. Each time I’ve walked away from these kind, compassionate, beautiful souls with a question lurking.

But am I spiritual enough?

What the fuck does that actually mean?!

As if there is some sliding scale where you suddenly tip over into sheer enlightenment? As if.

The ego, the monkey mind, that bloody incessant voice is what is creeping in. It makes you doubt your choices. Your words. Your clothes. Your ‘vibe’ (ick!). And starts comparing.

They have been to Indian to train with incredible Swamis and Yoga Elders.

You have not.

They have written their own book, self published, and are living what they teach.

You have not.

They know what they want from life, they have a plan, they are on their way.

You have not.

Image credit @sarahsscribbles

It’s easy to allow that voice to get louder. It echoes inside and demands attention. It feeds on your insecurities and begins to chip away. But you know what? We have a choice.

We always have a choice.

We can allow it to run or call it to heal. We can say. Hey! Thanks for that. I hear you. But no, I don’t agree.

Now I know that I am on my own journey. Where that is going, I’m not really sure. (Is anyone really sure?) I’m messy. I flow. I am working this shit out as I go, and it doesn’t always work out. But I learn. And I read. And listen. And LEARN. And grow.

So my spiritual path won’t be the same as yours. It’s twists and turns are all mine. The labyrinth is mine to walk.

But that doesn’t make me any less. Less worthy to guide. Less spiritual. Less ME.

All we can do is walk our path.

And I am so glad that you are all part of my journey.

Namaste.

Side note; My mum has always called me Ariadne. It seemed insignificant as a child, it’s just another of my name’s (I have many). Now I know she is Goddess of the labyrinth, who saved her lover Theseus from the labyrinth in Minos using a golden thread to lead them to safety. Read into that what you will…

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