I’m a feeler. Some might say an empath, a highly sensitive person (HSP), clairsentient or intuitive. But with labels, there comes an expectation, a preconceived idea about what something means.
I don’t really know how this stuff is supposed to work, I just know what I know from my own experience.
Basically, I feel all the feels. I notice all the energy.
I feel the energies and emotions of others and sometimes it’s hard to know what’s mine and what isn’t. Sometimes it feels like i’m stumbling around in the dark trying to find the light switch.
When you blend science with magic sometimes it’s hard to distinguish between what I know as fact (in the scientific sense) and what I know because there is a deeper wisdom working through me.
What I do know is that this work goes WAY deep and its not always easy to feel so much.
When life is busy and work is busy and I don’t get the processing time that I need it brings me to my knees. I feel this not just emotionally, but physically.
It disconnects me from myself and it inhibits my ability to work my magic.
The past few weeks have been an emotional roller coaster. With a pandemic, protests, politics. With personal soul searching and family needs. With learning about white privalege, supporting my BIPOC friends, supporting my white friends. Learning. Growing.
Add mamahood and family life on top and WOWSERS.
Time. To. Breathe.
So this weekend has been all about coming home to myself; time to be with family without worrying about work, cleaning the house to make the space feel grounded and safe, finding moments for silence, reading and artwork.
Finding moments for nothing – just BEING. Time for gentle yoga to shift and move, for meditation and awareness. For rest and sleep and healthy food.
For sleepy snuggles with Little Wolf. For hot tea and a cheeky biscuit.
For a good book.
Slowly slowly coming back to me…