The self-care conundrum: should self-care really be our focus?

We are all told to look after ourselves, to practice self-care and take time out. But how realistic is that? When we are feeling out of sync and need those moments, we can strip our lives back to the minimum, but there will always be those things we HAVE to do. That adulting responsibility that we are not able to escape.

In these moments, where you ARE practising self-care (where you can, in those nooks and crannies of your life) but you STILL feel overwhelmed/off balance/out of sync/low… ALL of the emotions… it is in THESE moments that we then allow the doubt to creep in. That mischievous monkey mind telling us that we should be doing better. That we should be making more time and working HARDER for our self-care. Can you hear that?!?

Working harder to find more time for self care.

The ludicrous nature of that statement. When we are already using our time to do the bare minimum, when we are already using time for meditation/running/yoga/reading/art (whatever you need for your moments of switch off). To then criticise ourselves for not working HARDER?!?

So rather than preaching self-care, we need to remember to lean on our community. When self-care is too much, too sparce, too much of a demand on our busy lives – reach out. Our community was traditionally there to help, to share the weight and to add support. While community is harder to find these days (the irony in a world which is super connected by social media and the internet every second of every day!), it IS there.

So reach out and SEE the people around you. Who could help you with some of those boring adulting things? Invite a friend over for cake and coffee while you both tackle the garden which hasn’t had your love in a while. Ask a friend to babysit for an hour so you can have a hot bath in peace. Struggling with your accounts, ask your amazing mathematical friend!

These seemingly small things allow the weight to be spread and the burden to lift. THIS is self-care.



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